Strawberry Crumb Cake: Open Letter to High School Seniors on the day of rejection

Especially for AC, MB, PS, BK, YL - and all the ones who have come before and will come after.

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Dear High School Senior - 

Today was a tough day.  It was an especially tough day because what was formerly a gloriously hazy and misty dream became harsh, brutal reality - you received a rejection from the college or university of your choice.

The rejection is particularly harsh because the person next to you actually got admitted, and doesn't even want to go.  The rejection smarts more because the person you know didn't score as well as you, or have as good as grades as you, got in and you didn't.  The rejection twists your insides because you worked so hard, and because you've worked so hard, you should get what you deserve. And the question that comes up in your head is, Why wasn't I good enough to be picked? Subsequent questions include, What else should I have done? and What mistakes did I make?

I'll say that many of you are actually too good for this college process.  Your skill sets, your talents, your work, your academic record go above and beyond what is normal for a teenager to accomplish.  You've pushed hard, made sacrifices, and looked for every single edge to give yourself, in order to stand out from the crowd.  I know this, because I've seen it happen over it and over again - stellar, amazing, phenomenal human beings do not get into the colleges of their heart's desire and as a college writing coach, it breaks my heart as much as it breaks my students'.

In the recent slew of University of California acceptance and rejections, I myself have ridden the roller coaster of emotions - the highs and the lows - the highs when schools have acknowledged student achievement and worthiness and accepted my students, and the lows when the students longed for a particular acceptance only to be denied it.  That swing is the brutal end piece of college applications that no one talks about.  During the application process it's mostly about strategizing where one can apply, but there isn't much spoken about the harsh explosion of rejection. No matter how optimistic, how sanguine, how content, how confident - a rejection touches the heart of the student in a way that shouldn't be minimized - it is real, it is wrenching, and the feeling resonates for a lot longer than one would hope.

On the day after one of my own students received her own rejection, she began the process of trying to understand why the rejection bothered her so much.  She had a lot of interesting thoughts, including, "If I really think about it, all the sacrifices, all the extras I did, all the hours, dollars, effort I spent on making myself wasn't even worth it because the college didn't notice!"

And I'm quite sure that she has put into words what many students feel after the rejection that hurts too much. But to these ever-so-dear students, I'll say this - the effort, time, and work that you have already put in have a ripple effect that goes far and beyond this simple spot of college, in the lake of your life.  That work, that dedication, that thought, that inner determination to push yourself to be something great - has, in fact, made you great.  No one can go through that much work, that much focus, and be that driven without having a profound effect on internal character development.  It is the very work and sacrifice already put forth that has brought you to where you are today - a stellar human being, who just happened, by the luck of some crazy draw, not to get into a school of choice. It is a single day in a lifetime of days where you are going to be greater than what you know now.

This process of applying to school, selling yourself, and putting yourself out there is one of the biggest risks you've taken thus far - you have willingly chosen to have people examine you closely, and to decide if you are worthy or not. Sometimes they will find you worthy, and sometimes wanting, but in neither of those situations are you greater or less than what you were before you began this process. How you define yourself should not change based on what another institution decides about you.  You were great when you began, greater while you worked yourself through the process, and still great at the end.

Your parents and I celebrate you, as a senior, as a rejectee, because you are well-positioned to make your mark on this world, whether it be at a name brand college or somewhere else - your journey is just beginning and in no way does a single thin letter (or an email these days) change your position in that place.

Take heart - I promise, the best is most definitely yet to come,

Joanne

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I'll end this by saying that in the process of riding this roller coaster with my students, it's been a sad few days, and I've been hunting for some sweetness.  This cake, with its spring strawberry love and its pretty colors and delicate sweetness has been nice to make and eat.  There is something strangely healing about sweetness in your mouth to take some of the disappointment of life.  It's super easy to make, doesn't require a mixer, and is perfectly seasonal for this moment of now.

To my dearest students, come visit and I'll make this for us!

Strawberry Crumb Cake

Serves 12-16

Cake Ingredients

3 cups all purpose flour

4 ½  teaspoons baking powder

1 cup sugar

1 teaspoon salt

2 eggs

1 cup milk

½  cup (1 stick) melted butter

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

3 cups chopped strawberries

Streusel Ingredients

1 cup sugar

½  cup flour

6 tablespoons cold butter, cut up

Method

Heat the oven to 400 degrees. Grease a 9x13 baking pan.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt. In a separate bowl or large measuring cup, beat the eggs, then mix in the milk, melted butter and vanilla extract. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and mix gently (batter will be stiff). Then add the strawberries and mix well. Pour into the prepared pan.

To make the streusel, mix the sugar, flour, and cold butter bowl by pinching them together. Sprinkle over the top of the batter.  Using a knife or spoon, swirl and poke so that streusel is slightly swirled.  Bake for 40 to 45 minutes, until golden and dry on top. Cool in the pan and cut into squares. This cake keeps for up to 4 days, covered at room temperature.

Printable recipe

Sweetness...to counter the disappointment

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