Pear Streusel Coffee Cake: Rules to make a great village

For SH, SN, EW, EJ

On a day to day basis, I see and communicate with women in my village.  It's our daily routine Monday to Friday, to check in and talk.  Of course some of the checking in is just a rehash of events and some mild complaining, but a greater part of our conversations move around supporting and encouraging one another, and also working with each other to help one another out.  All of us are busy, all of us feel stressed for time, all of us are on the verge of not being able to fulfill the demands of our day, but together, and by helping one another, we manage to scoot over the finish line daily.  I'm extremely blessed and thankful for my village, for I know without them, I'd be miserable.  I don't want a lot of people in my village, but I need the precious few that I have.  I've been mulling over the basic rules of my particular village, and why our village works so well, and I've distilled it down to the following basic set of tacit ground rules.

1. Share your thoughts and be open to the good ideas of those in your village : : People are extremely different and have different perspectives on matters.  There are a multitude of ways to approach a variety of matters in life, and if you open yourself up to other people's ideas, you'd be surprised how they can help you navigate challenges.  One of my village members helped me to teach my daughter how to advocate for herself at school; another has given tremendous advice on how to handle my own stress.  Still another is not afraid to tell me that she doesn't agree with how I'm managing something and offers an alternative.  All ideas are valuable and you certainly don't have to accept and utilize all of them, but by being open you are allowing yourself to grow.

2.  Never assume you are busier than your fellow village members : : Everyone has their own crazy schedule and if you sat down and compared itemized lists of who was busier, you would accomplish nothing but notice how amazing it is that no one has gone bald from the stress.  In my particular village, there is a full time working mom, three part-time working moms, a stay at home mom, and I can honestly say that no one is at home eating bon-bons and watching soap operas in the middle of the morning on a weekday.  Every one has to hustle and move to the next event. Everyone is a mother.  Everyone cares for their family. Everyone has so much on their plate.

3. Try and give more than you take : : My villagers and I share a lot.  We share rides, we share food, we share opportunities, we share lessons, we share tasks.  I happen to have the luxury of always being home right after school so that my villagers know if they're running late, their children can walk home with mine and there will be someone waiting for them.  Sometimes it's raining and my kids can't walk home, and two of my villagers will drop of my kids off so they aren't walking in the rain.  There are villagers who carpool to rockclimbing and others who do supermarket shopping for the other.  Costco runs are rarely just for your own family, and if you're going, you offer to get things for others.  If you give more than you take, no one in the village thinks they are being taken advantage and instead everyone offers to help the other before another person has to ask.

4. Have a sense of humor : : your fellow villagers will appreciate your ability to make them laugh when things get crazy.  If you're willing to make a fool of yourself in front of them, even better.  They won't judge you and instead they'll laugh with you. In a recent event, I took some of my villagers with me to the Korean market where many many shenanigans happened in the aisle that made us laugh so hard we almost got kicked out of the supermarket.

5.  Hug, and don't be the first one to let go : : I'm fully aware that my time with my village is limited.  Things are changing; children are growing up and soon we will be at different schools and different spots.  That very fabric that holds us together - geographic location and a shared function  - disappears in a few more years.  One of my village members said that when she hugs, she's not the first one to let go.  I tried it once and I'm not a hugger, but it did feel good.  And even if we don't hug physically - mentally and emotionally, my villagers hug and we don't let go. It means that in the future, when our village is no longer located in the same location, our ties are far greater and deeper than that.

I joke often that we should all just uproot ourselves and move to some much less expensive location, purchase a large compound and live communally.  And if we did, we'd be in the same place and we'd be able to have our meetings in one center, and I'd serve this delicious coffee cake and enjoy our conversations and companionship.  It has pears, a hint of cardamom, and just delicious texture and flavors all the way around.  Use pears that are on the softer side (but not mush and inedible), invite your village over and bask in the warmth and love of fellowship that is precious and few.

Pear Streusel Coffee Cake

(adapted from Gale Gand’s Brunch)

Serves 12-16

Cake Ingredients

3 cups all purpose flour

4 ½  teaspoons baking powder

1 cup sugar

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon cinnamon

½ teaspoon cardamom (optional)

2 eggs

1 cup milk

½  cup (1 stick) melted butter

4 ripe pears (I like Bartlett), unpeeled and chopped (3 cups chopped)

Streusel Ingredients

1 cup sugar

½  cup flour

6 tablespoons cold butter, cut up

2 teaspoons cinnamon

Method

Heat the oven to 400 degrees. Grease a 9x13 baking pan.

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, sugar, salt, and cinnamon. In a separate bowl or large measuring cup, beat the eggs,  then mix in the milk and melted butter. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and mix gently (batter will be stiff). Then add the pears and mix well. Pour into the prepared pan.

To make the streusel, mix the sugar, flour, cold butter, and cinnamon in a bowl by pinching them together. Sprinkle over the top of the batter.  Using a knife or spoon, swirl and poke so that streusel is slightly swirled.  Bake for 40 to 45 minutes, until golden and dry on top. Cool in the pan and cut into squares. This cake keeps for up to 4 days, covered at room temperature.

Printable recipe

Dreams of the communal life.

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