Brownies: Having a community
Fairly recently, my parents took a trip to the south of France, and this trip was special as they did not travel alone, but rather with friends of theirs who have made up the last 40 years of their lives as Korean American immigrants in the United States. They traveled together, seeing sights, and what made the experience all the more poignant for me was being able to discuss their trip with the children of their other friends on the trip, as my parents' friendships are the source of my own deep and loving childhood friendships. While my parents traveled with other couples, I texted back and forth with children of those other couples (all of us in different locations in California) and we reflected on the uniqueness of the community that our parents had together.
All of our families moved to California in the late 70's, and suddenly we had this instant community. Our parents were friends, and therefore they met together for elaborate and large dinner parties every holiday season, including a huge posse of children with an age range of a decade. We lived close enough to each other that our summer plans were often interwoven with other families - swim lessons happened in my backyard with a private instructor. Summer school happened with five families converging to one summer school and then oftentimes ending up at my house for the additional swim and popsicles poolside. All of us had the same piano teacher, all of us the same church for a long while, all of us met often, laughing joyously at the wonder of shared experiences and parents who loved and respected each other. We went to Yellowstone together, rode horses together (and that was my last time) and went on ski weeks, twice a year with this same group of families, sharing condos and food and snacks. We were a raucous group of Korean American children who descended upon Mammoth Mountain, skiing our hearts out and drinking hot cocoa until it ran through our blood. (As a side note, I only love skiing for this reason - the community, and not the physical act of hauling stuff around, standing in a line, and hurling myself down a mountain perched upon two skinny sticks.)
I discussed this amazing community and network at length with a few of my childhood friends, and one of them made the startling revelation that what we had growing up was incredibly unique. The start of a friendship between our fathers over 50 years ago and carrying those friendships as a unit to the United States is not a common experience. For many immigrants, they came to a country and a place where they had to start afresh and went to a place where they knew no one and had to start from scratch. For our group of parents, they somehow moved as a group to a single location, where they all lived very close to one another, and for the most part all worked at the same hospital, sent their kids to the same high school, and watched their kids grow up and get married from the very same homes we grew up in. This was a very unusual and unique situation that ultimately benefited us in ways that I still am thankful for - I can meet my friends from my childhood (we do this every holiday season thanks to the generous hospitality of one family who always opens their house and hosts everyone) and it is like we are still a group of crazy kids, all who just want to talk all night and spend the night at each other's house.
But I'll give the much credit to one man, one of my father's friends who probably was the greatest engineer of this amazing community of my childhood. Dr. S planted his roots first in California with his family, and when he saw the opportunities here - he told all of his Korean medical school buddies to come join him. All of the families had been scattered in various locations in the US, my own family in Illinois, and he encouraged his friends to come West. I have no idea what the conversation was like, but knowing him, I know that he was warm, inviting, and persuasive. And he knew what he wanted and he wanted his friends to feel success and he wanted his friends nearby.
I'm certain that it is Dr. S's efforts those 40 plus years ago that have paved the way for my parents' rich and full lives in retirement. My dad still calls up his friends, they have a standing regular weekly golf game, and I think, because of technology, they even text each other. When they gather (which they do still often) there is the familiar banter and joy of many years of knowing one another. They have seen each other through hard times, gone to the weddings of their friends' children, and rejoiced together at the births of grandchildren.
And more than anything, this experience has taught me the importance of investing in those relationships that will take you to your later years. Being gracious, kind, loving, community minded, or dare I say "Village" minded ultimately is an investment in the graciousness and fullness of your later life. Valuing human relationships - the way you treat others and those around you profoundly affects not only you, but also your children and the relationships they build. If they see you building your community, they will also want their own. If they see you treating your friends as treasures - as people that you wish to surround yourself with and grow old with, they will also want the same - and that, I think is one important value that parents can teach their children.
And how do I connect these brownie to this childhood gift? I believe it has to do with simplicity - Dr. S's efforts were simple and straightforward and basic. Invite your friends, treat them well, be kind to them and build those relationships. These brownies - they are simple ingredients, few even, and when worked together well, become this transcendent delicious gift of chocolate (not too sweet) and yumminess.
The great Thomas Keller has his own technique for creating an amazing decadent brownie - and I took one look at the lengthy steps and said, "I can make this easier." And I did - you are still required to have three different mixtures - a dry mixture, a melted butter base, and an egg and sugar concoction, but I've minimized the fussiness of his steps and tried to streamline The end result is still something soooo good, and as my sister-in-law said, "THE BEST BROWNIES EVER!"
Brownies
(adapted from Thomas Keller’s Ad Hoc at Home)
Makes 16 brownies or 32 depending on your cut
Ingredients
¾ cup all-purpose flour
1 cup unsweetened alkalized cocoa (dutch process) - I love Guittard Cocoa Rouge
1 teaspoon kosher salt
3 sticks of unsalted butter (¾ lb of butter)
3 large eggs
1 ¾ cups granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips (the nicer chocolate concentration you use, the more flavorful the chocolate)
Method
Preheat oven to 350. Line a 9-inch square pan with parchment paper, or alternatively grease a pan well.
Whisk together flour, cocoa, and salt; set aside.
In a small saucepan, melt two sticks of butter, careful not to brown. Remove from heat and add third stick of butter, allowing the third stick to melt. It may require a bit of stirring and breaking up the butter for it to fully melt.
In the bowl of an stand mixer, or with a hand mixer, mix together eggs and sugar on medium speed for 3 minutes, or until mixture is very pale and thick. Add vanilla extract. Alternate adding ⅓ dry mixture with ⅓ butter and mix on low speed until all is combined. Add in chocolate chips.
Spread batter evenly into pan, and bake for 40 to 45 minutes until cake tester comes out mostly clean. Cool in pan. When ready to serve remove brownie with the parchment and cut into 16 or 32 squares depending on preference (and the number of people who are going to want a piece.)
My charge to you my fellow readers - treasure your community - treat them well. Show them how much you value those relationships - and your children will be the beneficiaries of your investment of time and love. Hug these people that you've gathered close, make them some brownies and see your long distant futures together and the weddings of each other's children you'll enjoy.
Isn't the future so bright and lovely?
The cocoa I love (click picture to purchase)
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