How Korea Has changed my life in the past 5 years

By Korea.net Honorary Reporter Lalien Guillen 

Photos = Lalien Guillen 

March 9 marked my fifth year in Korea. It only seems like yesterday since I arrived at Gimhae Airport, and now I'm halfway through a decade of living in Korea. Time flies so fast. I look back and reflect on how my life has changed over the years. I've listed five things about how Korea has changed my life.

1. Having and being part of a new family

Family is a relationship. Like any kind of relationship, family comes in many forms. 

My husband, my parents-in-law and my bother-in-law are all part of my new family.

Meet my new family. They're Korea! I'm very fortunate to have my parents-in-law. Despite all the language barriers and cultural differences, they accept me and treat me with nothing but kindness and generosity. Both of them welcomed me with warmth and love since day one when I arrived in Korea. My mother-in-law is very patient with me and she is always on my side. She has always yearned for a daughter after raising two sons all of her life, so she said it was bliss when I came. My father-in-law must have felt the same, as he always brings me something when he comes home from work. He always has some chocolate or snacks for me. He also gives me an allowance from time to time. He never forgets to give me presents on my birthday and on Christmas. Sometimes, my husband complains that his parents love me more than they love him, he who is their own son by blood. I can’t help but grin whenever he complains like that. He also has one older brother, and my brother-in-law is as gentlemanly as one could be. 

I also found a new family at my new job. I started teaching at an English academy in 2013. After almost four years, I'm still at the same academy. When you spend most of your time in the day working with the same people over a long period of time, you can’t help but develop a deep connection with them. So it's not surprising that what was initially just a working relationship has turned into a family-like relationship throughout the course of time. We chitchat about our lives every day in between breaks and we sometimes hang out even on weekends.

Just before 2016 came to an end, I became part of the team of Korea.net honorary reporters, my newest extended family. I'm humbled and overwhelmed to be part of this huge family, with a lot of members from here and all over the world. We share the same passion and love for Korea. I really look forward to knowing more about my fellow honorary reporters and to see us as one stronger family than we are right now. 

The Korea.net honorary reporters all share the same passion and love for Korea. 

2. Learning a new language

The late Nelson Mandela once said, “If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.” I think that is the beauty of learning a new language. Since I'm living in Korea, it's natural that I learn the language. This is not only to make living here easier, but also to connect with people. I love learning the Korean language. It's deeply embedded with culture. You can take a peek into the Korean soul as you learn their language. You can see how much they respect their elders and how they treat someone younger or older than themselves. Respect is a virtue you can imbibe while learning Korean.

In my Korean learning journey, I met a lot of wonderful people, both teachers and fellow language learners. It's always good to learn something new each day and it is better to learn when you are with an awesome group of people. It makes learning more fun and memorable. In my case, I learned not only a new language, but I also gained new friends. I'm very much grateful for that.

Korean teachers and language learners stand in front of the Gumi Catholic Center.

3. Acquiring new skills and hobbies

While I'm learning Korean, I also fell in love with Hangeul. I believe it is a masterpiece. It's scientific and diverse. This is how I got into my new hobby, Korean calligraphy. I just started three months ago and I love every single moment that I practice calligraphy. It's a beautifully relaxing hobby. I hope to become better at it as time goes by.

I'm learning how to write Korean calligraphy, which will allow me to write Hangeul beautifully.

Nonetheless, my biggest skill achievement so far is learning how to drive a car. It all started when I overcame my fear of riding a bicycle. I had a bad fall while learning how to ride a bicycled when I was a kid. So I never tried to ride a bike again. However, Korea changed that for me. All of those who love watching Korean soap operas must have seen a few bicycle scenes. Korean TV shows have this magic of turning bicycle rides into a very romantic thing. From then on, I always wondered how it feels to ride a bicycle. So one day, I challenged myself to learn it, and I did. It took me only 20 minutes!

Then I opted for a bigger challenge: driving! Trust me when I say that the Korean public transportation system is very convenient and efficient. I'm really a satisfied commuter and I never saw the need to drive in Korea. Also, I was scared of riding a bicycle and I never dreamed that I would be able to drive someday. 

I'm glad I challenged myself to get out of my comfort zone. This challenge taught me that we never really know our own strengths until we decide to face our fears. 

4. Experiencing a seasonal climate

It is no secret that the Philippines is a tropical country. We only have two seasons: a dry and hot season and a wet and rainy season. So in Korea it was both exciting and challenging for me to experience the four seasons that exist in all temperate zones. 

It was my first winter when I arrived in Korea. My first impression of winter wasn’t nice. It made me feel frustrated to see the trees so bare. In the Philippines, where trees are green all year round, I couldn’t phantom the idea of trees looking so forlorn. On that day, I was thinking that four hours ago everything was green, and now trees don’t have a single leaf on them. 

However, now after five winters, I'm used to it. As the seasons revolved, I learned many things and I've discovered more about the beauty of each season. In Korea, there are many things to do in each season. Korea has it all! There are many winter activities to enjoy like snowboarding, skiing and sledding. The spring and autumn are best enjoyed when you go hiking or camping, because you can appreciate the beauty of nature: the wonderful flowers in the spring and the colorful mountains in the autumn. Of course, there are many water activities in the summer.

Also, there are different kinds of foods associated with each season. I'm always excited to eat tasty fish cakes in the winter, sweet strawberries in the spring, refreshing ice desserts in the summer and juicy melons in the autumn.

In the winter, you can play in the snow. 

Cherry blossoms come out in the spring. 

The summer has both sunflowers and ice desserts. 

The fall brings autumn foliage. 

Living in a temperate zone has given me many fun experiences and also life lessons to learn. Such as, the seasons are never constant. They're always changing. Therefore we have to be flexible when change comes to our lives. One day, our life can be bright and warm like spring. The next day, it can be grey and cold like the winter. So it's important to be resilient against the hot and the cold parts of our lives. I believe that each season changes us and molds us into a stronger and better person.

5. Being exposed to a new society

One of the many reasons that Korea fascinates me is how it can keep its rich history and traditions through to modern times. I read somewhere that history and modernity meet in Korea. I fully agree. In Seoul, despite all of the modern buildings within the city, you can still find a lot of historical places, and experience ancient traditions, like wearing traditional Hanbok attire or drinking traditional teas. You can even eat an entire meal that used to be solely served to the Joseon king and to other royal family members back a century or so ago.

There aren't many countries in the world that have a long history dating back thousands of years, like Korea. It's truly fascinating that a lot of Korean traditions have survived after such a long time. I'm blessed to have some first-hand experiences of celebrating some traditions that have stood the test of time. 

One of them is the memorial ceremony and the bowing to one's ancestors. This ceremony is observed on Korean Seollal Lunar New Year's, and on Korean Chuseok Mid-Autumn Festival. Both ceremonies include ancestral rites. The ancestral rites are held differently for each family. Some families perform the ancestral rites only once a year, while others do it two, three or many times a year. 

Before the memorial ceremony, a table of fancy food is set up. Traditionally, the foods are cooked without garlic, chili pepper or any aromatic seasoning. It's believed that strongly-flavored dishes would chase away the spirits of the dead. Fruits and vegetables are placed in the first two rows, while meats and soups are put in the third and fourth rows. Also, the heads of the fish, if fish is served, must point to the east. I'm not sure why, but that’s how the table is set.

There are normally long strips of white paper with the names of deceased family members written on them in traditional Chinese characters. Sometimes, pictures of the deceased are also placed on the table. One or two sticks of incense are also lit in front of the table.

The table is set with a lot of food for the memorial ceremony and for the ancestral rites. 

Each family is different, but normally only the male family members perform the bows and other ancestral rites. The oldest male bows first, and then it proceeds down to the youngest boy.

The youngest male pours some liquor into a cup and one of his older male relatives holds the cup in a circular motion around the smoking incense. This older male then makes a bow one or two times. Bowing two times is only done when commemorating the dead. Therefore, it's considered gravely rude to bow two times to any living person.

After each male has taken his turn to bow to the ancestors in front of the ceremonial table of food, all of them bow altogether and that ends the ceremony.

Males in the family take turns to do bow to their ancestors. 

However, my father-in-law is a generous and awesome person. He asked me to bow on my first Korean Chuseok Mid-Autumn Festival. I was really glad to be able to pay my respects to my new family's ancestors, and it made me feel truly accepted now into their family.

As I look back on my five years here in Korea, I can’t help but feel deeply thankful and honored. Living in Korea has opened my mind to a wider perspective on life. I can say that I have become wiser and more skillful than before. I I've learned a new language, experienced different ways of life, challenged myself and -- most importantly -- my family has become bigger.

I hope by being a Korea.net honorary reporter, I can somehow pay back Korea for all the good things I've received and am still continuing to enjoy. Korea has definitely changed my life over the past five years, but they are the changes that brought out a better version of myself. Thank you, Korea.

wisdom117@korea.kr

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