"I need" vs. "I want"

If it's not one thing, it's another. That's basically life with a child. Just when you think you've figured your kid out and have mastered something...boom! It changes and you now have a new challenge to deal with.

Cam is growing so fast and while we're delighted by all his milestones, each one essentially makes him a different baby. Parenting is about adjusting to change after change, trying desperately to figure out your child's needs and meet them appropriately. Sounds easy enough in theory but as always, reality is much different.

Now that Cam's 6 months, "crying with purpose" is starting to emerge. He no longer just cries because he needs something, but cries because he WANTS something (or in some cases, doesn't want!) He's more aware of his surroundings and is quickly figuring out that crying gets him stuff.

This is actually a good thing because that's how he communicates. He cries and if we meet his need or want, he's happy. He knows that mommy and daddy are responding to him and he trusts that. But as wonderful as that is, his purposeful cries are definitely not always fun to deal with.

Aside from the basic need cries (hungry, tired, in pain, etc. which, btw Cam rarely cries for such things), Cam has now taken to the following purposeful cries:

• He cries when I'm feeding him solids but he wants his milk. As soon as he gets his milk, the tears magically disappear and he's happy as a clam.
• He cries (more like whines) when he wants out of his crib in the morning or after a nap. He wakes up extremely happy and usually very quietly so at times I leave him there if I need to finish getting myself ready or need another 5 minutes for something. He's usually very patient but when he feels he's been patient enough, he'll let you know!
• And most recently, he's been crying to tell me, "I don't want to take a nap." This one is starting to take a toll on me because I know that he NEEDS TO NAP. Most of the time I can get him to sleep but the last couple of days he really doesn't want to go down for his afternoon nap. He cries and cries and I know he's doing it on purpose because some days after an hour of crying (and me checking on him countless times during that hour), I take him out because I plain give up. The SECOND I take him out of the room, he smiles up a storm and even laughs at times. He knows that if he cries enough he just might get out of his crib. Conniving little bugger.
  

Now, they say you can't spoil your child by tending to his cries for the first year of life. I don't disagree with this statement. If your baby is crying, it's definitely for something. But I'm also learning that while you can't "spoil" your baby, you CAN teach him things in that first year that ultimately may lessen "want cries" in the future (this is my non-scientific-but-I-am-a-parent opinion anyway). For example, how to soothe himself back to sleep. This is definitely a learned behavior and babies won't learn how to sleep on their own if you immediately jump at every cry, whether it be during naps or in the middle of the night.

Teaching Camden how to be patient and starting to set expectations and boundaries, I think, is also possible. Things like teaching him to not expect someone to tend to him every minute of the day. At times, I think Camden needs to play on his own and be by himself. I don't go to him at every whine and he plays very nicely by himself. Learning to be independent is a good thing.

Teaching him what's acceptable and what isn't can also start early. I tell Camden "stop it" when he "want cries" excessively. I don't know if it's the tone of my voice, or the words, or if he's just distracted by what I'm saying (or maybe a combination of all three?) but whatever it is, it usually works. Eventually, I think Cam will learn what it means when I tell him to "stop" and hopefully he will listen.

It's amazing how much Camden knows at 6 months! We're biased, but of course think he's a smart kid. Every day, he's more aware and I swear, this kid understands A LOT. :)

I just hope I'm able to be a good mommy and can balance giving him what he needs with giving IN to what he wants.

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